Marriage Ruined My Life


I thought I had it all figured out. Life wasn’t perfect by any means but I had created a system that worked for me to get what I need. And then I got married.

Typically pouting worked, grudges were good, or my personal favorite; hold him accountable for an expectation he had no idea existed. My world collided with his, quickly I realized a strong relationship has no room for my antics. My friend Alex says it best, I am a direct reflection of my husband. The way I operate reflects the culture of my relationship and our character.

It isn’t until we get to this place of humility where criticism feels like someone who cares enough to speak truth. Not the mean girl name-calling but the I-know-you-better-than-this love smack. Passive aggression has no place here. Manipulation won’t last. I only get there by the grace of God. And once I do (it’s daily people) I realize lessons are to be learned everywhere. My sisters, girlfriends, and the people in my life who love with my best interest in mind. The pride-walls crumble in humility.

My people will never let me give up a dream, play small, or tarnish my reputation. Love will always call my bluff. Immediately after Brian and I got married he would politely tell me when I wasn’t acting myself and I took it personally until I realized that’s real love. The best part about marrying out of your league is rising to the occasion.

For months I prayed an opportunity would open up for me at the She Speaks Conference. When I got the email 2 weeks before the event that I had a spot I froze. My mind chased fear, inadequacy, and hesitations. I was so unprepared. It’s too last minute. Before I could finish my rational argument Brian had replied to the email with a detailed registration and our credit card number. He knew it was in my best interest to be at that conference. Likewise, serving with a happy heart wasn’t second nature. Something like driving someone to the airport would’ve been an inconvenience but now serving is a knee-jerk reaction. Brian is rubbing off on me.

This love isn’t exclusive to marriage. It’s any love that stops you dead in your tracks when you take a detour to your end goal. Eternal love keeps the end-goal at the forefront of your mind and always speaks truth to who you are and who you want to become. Good relationships will ruin your life.

RelationshipsMegan Miller