A Married Girl's Me Too
I have to confess something… When Brian and I first got married I wondered if he was attracted to me. I know it sounds ridiculous but he isn’t the kind of man who comments on physical things.
You know, the lines about how hot you are, the body you have, and other comments that give you a quick high. I’ve heard, and stood in awe, as women come forward with their “me-too” moments and for me, I'm not sure it was a moment. Instead, it's a lie I believed-
My worth is only as valuable as the way I'm perceived.
Objectification filled me with pride. Being desired made me feel valuable.
I am married to a man who respects and loves me but there are still moments I get upset my physical appearance doesn’t mesmerize him. I can remember, angrily, asking Brian why he never told me I was hot. Why did I want that so bad? Because in the past I bought cheap desire like a drug to numb my insecurities. Marriage is different; it's sanctifying and long haul. Over-time, I forgot what intimacy looked like and I couldn't recognize it for a while.
Intimacy and sacredness are hidden gems that can only be mined by love.
Let your spouse love you into believing you're more than your appearance. Practice accepting compliments. Believe the good things people, who see you up close, say about you.
What Jesus, Brian, and so many other people I respect coming forth and sharing their “me-too” moments are teaching is we can be respected and loved for more than our bodies. Transformation will come when we believe our value is our being, not our performance. Without rewiring our brain we won't recognize real love and intimacy when it's right in front of us.
Brian and I were on our way home from the beach the other day and I jokingly made a comment about my new rolls, and how excited I was to work it all off once the baby is born and you know what he said? “How do we keep our daughter from being insecure about her body?”
He did not tell me, “No Megan, you’re still beautiful.” Because let’s be honest, that’s what I wanted to hear, he instead reminded me that change needs to happen now. Speaking your truth once, and sharing your “me-too” moment is only the beginning. Now it’s changing the way we see ourselves, calling out the lies we believe about our value, and encouraging everyone around us to do the same.
To women sharing “me-too’s” I respect you, you inspire me. To people patiently loving women who have lived “me-too’s” you’re changing the world.