The Problem with Praying
So much has happened in the last two months I don't even know where to start.
"I just got released, I'll call you soon."
*Looks down, reads the text, sips coffee, opens Bible.*
The truth is I had no idea what to say in the moment because I knew it was God's will. That's the problem with praying "His will be done", His will hurts when it's not our vision. His will is hardly our vision--we're too small to see the big picture. I don't even know what my vision was... with no clue what's ahead I gave up guessing. But I never hoped for my husband's childhood dream to end with him being fired in a back room after 2 years of rehabbing with a 36 week pregnant wife.
Brian wanted to leave immediately so we packed up and drove north. On the drive I called an old landlord I rented from in college on a whim, she left a key under the mat to a newly renovated 2 bedroom town home in our favorite neighborhood we'll call home for a year.
May 30th, 4 days from my due date, I went into the doctor for a routine ultrasound. Within the hour I was checked into Vanderbilt getting induced to bring our baby girl into the world because it wasn't safe for her to stay in my belly a day longer. Not the labor I planned for at the luxe birth center down the road but God, Your will be done and so it was. Jane Audrey Miller born healthy and strong exactly as I hoped... absolute perfect delivery.
As I type Brian is in the final interview process with a great company. I don't know if he'll get the job but guess what I'll be praying? Your Will Be Done. In my last 5 years of knowing God I'm starting to get He knows exactly what's next and it's always perfect. PERFECT. (Romans 12:2) Crazy right? Talking to God daily, praying for Him to guide you, and giving Him the parts of your life your clinging to you'll find the same thing.
The problem with praying is it works. If you get out of the way and open your hands He'll step in and blow your mind with His best. It'll hurt. You'll be confused. You'll mourn your idea of your future. Then you'll forget you ever wanted anything else. You'll praise Him for His sovereign love. You'll give Him a little more of your life and start all over. This time it'll hurt less. You'll see His hand in your life sooner.
In my newsletter I talked about being pregnant with something, I think it was my understanding of the character of God and His providence over my life. The more I remind myself of God's goodness the less fear and anxiety I have. Brian's release, an unexpected move, finding a place to live, financial resources, insurance for our baby, finding a new doctor, getting induced, having a newborn, WHATEVER comes your way keep on saying, Your will be done, and know His will is perfect.
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will.